I know my sister Lydia hated me, I dont understand why, as she was 9 years old and was the pet of the family. She had nice curly hair, and had the pretty dresses and the she got to cuddle with mom and dad all the time. As for me, I am 11 years old. I havent entered puberty yet and I was just about the same size as my sister, but my hair was boring and straight. Lydia and I once argued, and argued, every minute of the day. But in the last half year we hardly spoke with each other. We would just pass each other and she would nearly stick her nose up to me. The only time that we spoke to each other was she would tease that I had no friends, and that I was boring. This was true; the others in class ignored me. I had no one to speak with. I think this was why I spoke with my dolls so much. Lydia on the other hand did not need dolls. Why would she, she had all the friends that she needed. She was so popular, even though she was only 9.
This happened a few days before Christmas. I was delighted that school was over. It meant that I did not have to be at school and speak with people that ignored me. I could be at home and play with my dolls and speak with the strangers on skype. Hopefully my sister would not tease that much. She did, the first night. I suppose it was my fault, as I was watching the TV, and there was an ad for diapers. I must have had a big smile on my face. Lydia asked me something stupid and I told her to shut up, I was watching TV. She then laughed because she noticed it was an ad for diapers. This would have been bad enough, but she heard me singing old McDonald had a farm earlier. The whole night went with her; she kept on asking if I wanted to wear diapers, and if I was not too old to be wearing a diaper. I ran into my room and sat on my bed thinking. I admitted long ago to myself that I was obsessed by diapers and would love to be a baby again. I wanted a second chance. I suppose this is why I looked at ads with diapers and felt happy, or when I dreamt that I was a baby once again. I would feel secure. I would get my parents love. I wouldnt have to worry about school. It would be a second chance. I told this once to some stranger on skype, and he asked was I a diaper lover. I suppose this is what I am called. I admitted I was but who does it harm. It was just something in my head. I would never try it and I would never let anyone else know. I even told the stranger no. I definitely did not want my sister to know.
The next day mom told us that we were going to see Santa. My sister is overjoyed. We were of course late coming and this meant that we had to wait in a long line. I wonder if Santa even wanted to see us. At last it was me. The elf called me up before Lydia. I could see that she did not like this and this made me sort of happy. I sat on Santas lap hoping I would no crush it. Then he asked if I was not too old to be seeing him? I didnt believe in Santa, and I just wanted to pull his beard. He went through the routine and I told him what I wanted and that I was a good girl.
Then it was Lydia turn. For Santa, she was the last child that day. I stood down by the railing and didnt hear what they were talking about. As I went down, I heard him say how cute she was. This made the whole experience a bit sour. Why did everyone think that she was cute? I heard her speak with Santa, but I did not hear what she said.
Years later, I heard that she asked Santa to make me a baby that needed diapers. She also needed my parents to want this. Santa of course was shocked by this, and thought that my sister was mean. I dont know what her reason was. Luckily I did not hear this when we were visiting Santa. The thing is that although Santa said no, it ended on his list, as you will now find out.
It was finally Christmas, and this was about the only time in a year that my sister and I talked, although I knew this year it would mean more teasing. We were watching TV, waiting to open the gifts. At last it was time. Mom told us to turn off the TV, but Lydia asked if they could wait to after the commercial, as I wanted to see it. It was a diaper commercial. I didnt even notice my sister saying this, as I was glued to the TV.
It was time to open the presents, and we opened all the presents. There were two presents left. One was for my mother and father. It was a box of chocolates. They wanted to know where these came from. Lydia and I had no clue. However, they ate a piece of cholate and said they would do what it said on the box, only one a day. Mine was a small pack, and I opened it. My heart raced when I saw it. It was a pink pacifier. My mother said that was a present they meant to give me when I was 3. I was about to throw it away, when my dad who was chewing the cholate said I should use it, I would look cute. My mother said I was 11 and too old for pacifier, was he crazy? I smiled and threw it into the bundle of used wrapping paper, where mom changed her mind and said that it was a gift, and I should use it today. I protested and said no way, but both my parents told me not to ruin Christmas. I put the pacifier in my mouth.
I kept the pacifier in my mouth. It was time to go to bed. I put on my night dress and hopped on my bed. I wanted to scream as the bed crinkled when I climbed on it. It had a plastic sheet on it. Lydia was s******ing softly as I shouted. Dad came in and said that after they ate chocolate seeing a film, they decided I should have a plastic sheet. I asked why and he said he did not know, but it did remind him when I was a baby. I told him the box said only one chocolate a day and he went.
That night I had a dream. I dreamt I was a baby again. I was in a crib. Suddenly everyone was ignoring Lydia and paying attention to me. I was just in a diaper, just like on the commercials. I could feel that I needed to pee and this voice kept saying that its ok to pee in my diaper, as thats what babies do. I could see that I was a small baby and as I listened to the voice, I just peed in the diaper like a baby does. I sucked on my pacifier, and knew that I could not fall out of a crib or monsters could come in. My diaper was wet, but the voice was right, thats what Babies do.
The next morning I woke up. The Pacifier was still in my mouth and I never had such a good sleep. I sat up in my bed, and stretched. There was something wrong. I spat out the pacifier, I could feel under her covers that the bed was wet. I peed the bed! How could I do this, I was 11 years old. It must be the pacifier! I started crying until my mother came in. I was sure that she would spank me but she just smiled and explained that it happens. I went down to breakfast, and after we ate, Dad and mum were drinking their coffee, and eating took a piece of cholate. I looked in the box and it was still full! Did they get a new box?
So darling, I heard you wet the bed Daddy said.
Daaaady!
Dont worry darling. It reminds me when you were a cute baby. Maybe we should put you in diapers again. I miss a baby around the house.
Lydia just laughed, and said I loved diapers. I could have hit her, but she was right. I had a secret thin for diapers, but my dad and sister was wrong. I wont want to wear them. Maybe if no one else knew, but I simply would die if others seen me. The problem was that the bedwetting continued all week. Mum and dad thought it was cute. However I hated waking up to wet beds. The one good thing was that I didnt pay attention to diaper ads anymore. It was a problem when I was about to sleep. I would be hearing these voices saying how easier it would be to be a baby. I must be a baby. After all I wet the bed. Then when I woke up, I would shake these thoughts only to find that the bed is wet. The box of chocolates remained full and I still used the pacifier.
It was after New Years, and time for school. I woke up, had a little cry seeing that my bed was wet. I put on my school uniform, that was a blouse, cardigan and a shirt and knee socks, and of course Mary Janes. I was not in great mood to start at school again. It meant that I would have to be with others, and I did not want to do this, The Morning went well, except that the teacher told me several times not to suck on my pen. It wasnt my fault; I was so used to a pacifier in my mouth. It was finally time for lunch break. I usually sit alone by a bush. However today a group of children came over and started asking was it true that I wet the bed and used plastic sheets. I stumbled not knowing what to say. I saw Lydia at the side smiling. It was obvious that she told them. I started crying, and this made the others laugh and tease. They all called me bed wetter and baby, and said maybe I should use diapers. I wanted the ground to swallow me up. It became extra worse when I suddenly felt myself getting wet when they were teasing. I cried even more because I wet my panties. This meant that they teased even more, lead on by Lydia. I was saved by the nurse that took me into the office and changed me. Luckily she said nothing, except if this happened before. Lydia was there pretending to be a caring sister. She said I wet the bed every night. This made the nurse suggest diapers. Lydia smiled and said I would love this, as I was a diaper lover. The Nurse frowned and looked me in the eyes and asked did I do this on purpose? No I did not! But how was she to believe this when Lydia said that I loved diapers. I whimpered that I did not want a diaper, they were for babies.
When I came home, I tried to sneak by everyone and went to my room. My mother was waiting there. She told me to lie on a table. Where did that table come from? I lay on the table, totally stupid to what was about to happen. Then Mom leaned over me and started taking off my skirt and panties. I could smell the chocolate in her breath, but that was not the problem. She had baby powder and a diaper in her hand. I started shouting at the top of my lounges and crying my eyes out. I also kicked bit the woman was just too strong. She just put the pacifier in my mouth, in which I agree did calm down. As I was sobbing, I heard my sister say that I finally got what I wanted. My mother explained that I was wetting the bed every night and now since Christmas, and I have wet at school. This meant that I needed a diaper all the time.
After the diaper was on me, I stood up. I had to spread my legs. I looked down and the diaper was very thick. I looked in the mirror and just said his big plastic thing around me. I started crying. I waddled to my bed and just put my head on the pillow and cried for hours. I was very aware what was between my legs. The diapers were so bulky. Why did she have to wear these diapers when she was 11 years old? Life was not fair! Was this because she secretly wanted to wear a diaper? That was before. Now I had a huge bulky diaper on that crinkled every time she walked. This is not what she thought of. It was just admiring them in commercials, dreaming about them or maybe trying them on for 4 mins. Only babies wore diapers! I spat the pacifier out of my mouth thinking that this was also a baby thing. I must have cried for an hour, especially when my sister came in and said stupid things like it made my bum look big and asked questions like is it wet yet. I cried myself to sleep, noticing that the pacifier was once again in my mouth.
Life was hell now. You think that a simple garment would not make such a difference. But its what it made me. It made me like a baby. I didnt want to be a baby. The first time I felt the diaper against me, I knew that I was not a diaper lover. This was just a sign of something else. I pleased mum the next day not to make me wear a diaper to school. Suddenly Lydia was acting like she was my big sister. She was telling me that it would be embarrassing if I wet myself. I had no friends in the first place. If I wet my pants, they would make my life hell. She didnt understand that this was hell. Dad was eating a piece of chocolate when he said to make things easier, they bought pull-ups. I knew that this was a fight I could never win.
The day was hell. Of course Lydia told everyone that I was wearing pull-ups, and people were lifting it to see if it was true, and when they knew it was true, to see if it was wet. People called me pampers from that day. When I look back at it, it did not matter, as I had no friends anyhow. At the same time, the new insults hurt. It made me believe I was weird. I was an 11 year old girl wearing Diapers. I lost total confidence in the afternoon when the teacher asked me do I need a pacifier? I was daydreaming and didnt notice the thumb was in my mouth. It didnt help that I noticed that I was wet.
This must have happened for a week. I wore a diaper all the time and was losing more and more control of my bladder. I was not happy. I was never so sad than I was now. I should have been happy that it confirmed that I was not a diaper lover; it was just a stage I was going through. One day I woke up and decided that it was enough. I would convince my parents to treat me like a normal 11 year old. So this morning, when mom came in to change my diaper, smelling of chocolate as she usually does, she took off the wet diaper. I spat the pacifier out and I clamped my legs together when she tried to lift them together. This made Mum a bit frustrated as she asked me what the problem was. I told her that I did not want a diaper. There must be a reason why I wet myself. We should go to the doctor. Mum just slapped my bottom and tried explaining that I needed a diaper as I now wet all the time. She also admitted that she loved taking care of me, and wished she could treat me as a baby, as she missed those days. I was crying now, as I could not convince her. Mom smiled and put the pacifier in my mouth which calmed me down a bit and mom put the pull-up on me, so I was ready for school.
After school, I was bored. But I did not give up hope in getting out of diapers. I needed my enemy to be my friend, so I walked into my sisters room. She was speaking to some new friend on Skype. I looked at her and did not say a word, and I just watched her typing to this friend that most likely lived in another part of the world. Mum came in and asked if we were thirsty. Lydia said yes and I nodded. Mum gave my sister a glass of milk and she gave me a baby bottle. I wanted to throw the bottle at her, thinking it was a joke. But Mum left before I could protest. It was no joke. My sister was the first to say something,
I am just writing to my friend that you are using a baby bottle, and you are 11. She does not believe me. Can I show her on webcam?
No way! I dont want to use the bottle!
Then why are you drinking from it? (She had me there)
I am thirsty. I need your help..
You want me to change you?
No! I want you to help me persuade Mommy and Daddy to get me out of diapers
I call them Mom and Dad, only babies say Mommy and Daddy. I cannot help you little sis. Its because I know if you did not wear diapers, you would wet the bed, the furniture, everything! Now you best go, because I am about to turn the webcam on. She does not have webcam yet, but if you are here, she can see the baby diaper you are wearing
I went and after crying in my bed for an hour, I decided that I tried talking. Now it was time for action. So the next morning, before we went to church, I snuck into my sisters bedroom and borrowed a pair of her panties. I hid them under my pillow and waited to mommy came in. She came in and changed my diaper to a pull-up as usual. Then she went to get her handbag and things, while I said I would brush my hair. As soon as she went out, I pulled off the pull-up and put on Lydias panties, it was good that we were nearly the same size. I ran down and we went to Church. I was happy that I had panties on again. It seemed that I was once again big. As we entered the Church, I held my head high. I was now a big girl. I could walk without waddling and making noises. I was smiling and listening to the priest talking; however there was still a hole in me, like I needed something. I was not totally happy. I wondered why I was so sad. Then I felt wetness. I could feel tears coming out of my eyes as I seen a puddle on the floor. Lydia burst out laughing and I could see mommy and daddy looking either frustrated or mad. The worse thing was when I had to walk out of church. Everyone knew what happened as the dress was wet and my stockings were wet. I knew it was a mistake now to try to get rid of diapers without making sure that I would not piss myself,
When we went home, I ran into my room. I expected Mommy and daddy to come to me and give me a lecture and a spanking. I just sat on my bed feeling bad for what I done. I walked into my sisters room but she was speaking with that girl on Skype. Then I went back to my room and put on pull-ups. I just wore these pull-ups alone and went down to my parents. I felt half naked as I went into them and whispered I was sorry. They were eating chocolate and looked up and gave me, saying that things will need to change.
The next day, I got ready for school. I didnt complain about the diaper today. There was commotion as we were leaving the house. There were moving trucks outside. Lydia and I wanted to ask questions. But daddy said that we will find out when we came home. School was hard that day, as I was wondering if my parents would move. Maybe they were getting a divorce. I didnt mind the teasing.
When I came home, Mum was waiting at the door. As I came in she gave me my pacifier. I looked in the sitting room. There was playpen inside there. I felt my heart drop. Then I ran into the kitchen and I saw a highchair that was quite high. I now understood what was happening. I raced to Lydias room. She was already home speaking to that girl on the internet. This made me feel a small bit better, then I went into my room and I nearly fainted. It was a nursery. There was no bed except a crib. There was a changing table, a doll house and lots of baby toys. I wanted to jump on my bed and cry but Mommy lifted me and put me on the changing table. As she changed my diaper, she explained, We have decided that you need to be treated like a baby from now on. You need these baby things so you will be happy. I now know how much you loved diapers, and this is most likely why you started wetting the bed. You are often sad and depressed and have no friends. The fact that you wet yourself and you always use the pacifier and now a baby bottle shows that you want to be a baby. We feel it will help you to be regressed as a baby. I know you think its hard walking as a baby. So I suggest that your crawl. I dont want you to complain or pout about this. If you do, I will be mad, it has been decided.
The woman must be crazy. How would it help that I would be a baby again? She put me down and I started walking out to the sitting room. I was waddling and I could see my mother looked at me rolling her eyes. I got the message and went on my knees. It was not bad crawling. It was actually easier. I suppose after my revolt earlier at the church, and unable to control my own bladder, I knew that I had to listen to someone elses advice.
So that was what my life at home was after. I wore diapers all the time. I wore toddler dresses and Mary Janes. I used the pacifier all the time. I used the crib when I slept, and used the playpen when I had very little to do and the highchair when I ate. I never did complain. In fact I accepted it. I even accepted when Lydia teased me and I started considering her as my big sister. I bet you are asking why I accepted this treatment. The simple fact is that I was happier. The first time I crawled, then I smiled because mom was right, it was easier. It was then I decided to try what my mother has said. As time went on, I become used to it and started feeling comfortable with it; I could spend hours playing with dolls, or blocks, or colouring books. So after a few weeks, I was so happy in my new life, I was an 11 year old baby, but I did not have to worry or feel pressured to things.
I think it also helped that things became better at school. It was hard the first few weeks because Lydia told everyone I was a baby full time at home now. I was teased and teased a lot. You can imagine the names that people called me.
However this girl Mary sat next to me during Lunch. I hardly ever spoke with another child before and suddenly Mary sat down beside me. She admitted that she wet the bed last year and wore diapers but she was never as brave as me to accept them. She also admitted that she was afraid to be in her bed and would love a crib. She thought I was cool. We started talking and then we became best friends. During this time, the other children looked at me as a baby. They no longer teased me but started taking care of me. They were not friends like I would have if I was a normal 11 year old girl. They were like big sisters, but big sisters that cared. This was just as good as friends
I am now an 11 year old baby, but have people that care for me and love me.
Today there was a lot of drama at school. There was a lot of laughter and whispering going on. After school, I crawled into Lydias room to know if she knew anything about the excitement at school today. She was not at her computer speaking on skype. She was on her bed crying. I went to her bed and seen a picture next to her. It was a picture of her raising her dress and showing a diaper. I was shocked! Why was she wearing a diaper? Lydia explained, It was my fault you are wearing diapers. I got Santa Clause to make you a baby. I was just being mean. When you wore diapers, I was so happy. When you became a baby I was happier. However you got all the attention at school and this made me sad. Less and less girls were speaking with me because they wanted to be a big sister to you. I told my friend on Skype this and she said try one of your diapers on. I did this and she begged me to show her the diaper on webcam. I did but I told her I did not like diapers. The next day a screen shot of this was shown all over school. I never knew this girl was from our school. I used to tease you about diapers but now people think I wear them, I dont know what to do!
I did not know what to say. Lydia was evil and at one weak moment she showed herself in a diaper because of jealousy. People now think she wears diapers, even though she does not. She will be teased for a long time as for me; they cared for me because I was a baby,
Is this Justice? In a way it is.
The end,
If you would like to write a letter to me or the others about what I just wrote about myself, do it here. I promised dauphin I will answer you all. I forgot to say my name is Sandy